I am i m really sorry its long yet I am in desperate need for help. I dated mine ex because that 4 years. It was an on and off relationship. Ns love him really much. I had never felt a connection with anyone the way I felt through him. I understand he feel the very same way. We simply matched. Some one mine friends think us were also alike personally wise thats why we constantly crashed. He is gorgeous and an extremely social and I always felt jealous and insecure in ours relationship even though ns was a model and also I am a very good looking mrs myself (I am no cocky in ~ all! ns am in reality insecure).
Our connection was constantly a struggle in a sense. Over there was always so many women everywhere him and also guys anywhere me. But I NEVER ever before cheated or flirted or anything. The did. He to be flirt and I couldn’t manage it and also thats where most of our problems came from. That had also been married (he is 10 years older than me) and also he had 3 children which ns adored and there was constantly fighting since I felt he didn’t watch them enough/
Anyways, the partnership was constantly a mix the heaven and also hell. As soon as it was an excellent it was also good. Once it was poor it to be worst. I got pregnant and we damaged up again. We preserved talking and seeing each various other up till my kid was 8 months. Once i thought things would finally work, that would loss apart. My child is now 18 months and he hasn’t called for 6 months. That hasn’t checked out our kid in practically a year. The is dating a new woman and we have actually tons of girlfriend on on facebook so pictures constantly show. I also can’t stop looking at his on facebook page and also there are loads of pictures of them happily together. I am not a teenager. I am 18 years old. I understand that this is self destructive habits but i can’t stop. Ns literally cry every day. I hurt my son. He didn’t deserve this. He deserves a father. And also I dislike myself for no picking much better and for believing that my ex was a far better man climate he is. For reasoning that he would stick around with me as soon as he didn’t v his ex wife and also 3 kids. I believed him when he stated she thrust him away and also abused him and thats why the left. I think in the ideal version of him. I thought in this idea the he was perfect and was simply a victim.
But also with all this ns still can’t let him go. I love him. And also I dislike myself because that loving him. Ns feel like I am betraying my kid for loving a man who exit him. Its together an emotionally struggle. I meditate. Have strong friends and also family. But I can’t seem to gain past this. I store convincing myself the he is just angry or scared and also that at some point he will certainly come ago and we will be a family. But then I see a new picture the him and also his girlfriend and they look therefore happy. That looks choose he doesn’t also remember he has actually a son. Ns don’t recognize what to do. I assumed he to be my have to mate. The guy I to be going to prosper old with. I knew the connection wasn’t perfect but somehow I always believed at some point we would figure it out.No i did not obtain pregnant top top purpose. I gained pregnant while on bear control. That happened and although ns contemplated an abortion. I couldn’t. That goes against my spiritual beliefs of incarnation and also Buddhism. And also I really wanted to keep our child too. I love mine child. He is amazing. Yet some days i wonder if it to be fair to him to bring him into this world and now he doesn’t have actually a dad.
I work permanent as a marketing analyst, my days are long and my boy spends his whole day v the nanny. The pretty lot doesnt have a mom or a dad which division my heart and consumes mine mind v guilt. I literally feeling depressed and guilty for not being able to offer my boy the family members he deserves. However I have to work to assistance him and also to provide him a an excellent education and future.
Please assist me. I don’t recognize what come do. I am crushed and also I am jealousy that this various other woman is having whatever I constantly dreamed of v him. Why can not be this guy with me and also our child? Why couldn’t he offer me and our son what the is giving her? should I wait for him?
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Let me start by speak this: You deserve so much.You execute not must wait because that this man, the is no worth your time. Yes, that is the father of her child however that walk not typical he needs to be anything an ext than a co parent. I understand there were an excellent times and bad- there room in any type of relationship. However, the is v someone else and has done nothing come prove to you that he desires to be in friend or your child’s life(ask your self if friend really desire a guy like that?). YOU worthy BETTER. I have uncovered on my own journey, that till I began to develop a partnership with my me (not one where I to win myself up) One whereby I learn to embrace my flaws and also love them, did ns see how worthy i am to it is in loved. Girlfriend are likewise worthy the a beautiful life and so is your child. Start working ~ above the method you treat her self and your very own heart. Forgive your self, you are doing the finest you can. You are a solid woman and also have a lot come offer. Believe that and it will certainly radiate off of you.
I was born come a teenager mother, you room doing what you have the right to to provide him a good life. Forget this man and also start focusing on your baby. Your kid will recognize he is loved even if he has a nanny. The best gift friend can provide him, is you gift present and healthy.
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You deserve to do this. Relocate on and also start fresh, you deserve it.